The Thundering Horde - Daily Life

Being a viking is not a job for sissies or people who want a life of contemplation, leisure, or sanity. As a father to a viking mob I can tell you that my days are anything but quiet, tranquil and contemplative. Normal children at least occasionally play quietly, occasionally play together amicably, or occasionally follow the rules for an hour or two. This reality is what helps parents hang onto their sanity by a thread and at the end of the day, feel like being a parent is worth all the fuss.
That is not the way of the viking horde.
They never truly play together for that would mean someone must surrender their will (at least a little bit) to someone else's desires. That, a viking, can never do. At least not without some severe head trauma preceding the cooperation. No vikings play loud, shatter anything that isn't made of metal, fight endlessly over the most trivial offense, and generally run hither and yon wreaking destruction and leaving a huge mess in their wake. And it never ends. From sunup to well past sundown my Thundering Horde pillage our home and our nerves. A therapist once said, “Isn't it wonderful that they feel so safe that they can express their true feelings?” This after the viking being “shrunk” had boldly declared how much we “sucked” as parents and how much he hated his life. Frankly, I wish they felt less safe and I had to put up with less disrespectful and offensive backtalk.
It is such a profound drag living in such a feminized society while rearing vikings. I mean, Erik the Red probably would just head butt young Leif and straighten him out right then and there. Or at the very least, he would take him a few miles out to sea and throw him out of the boat with a menacing, “Don't bother swimming back unless you are going to treat your mother better.” That would probably work. But that's not for certain, vikings are freaking' bull headed and kinda dim. You can whop them every night for years before they finally get the idea that they aren't supposed to light fires on board the wooden ship. Geesh.
But that might damage their little towering egos, I mean self-esteem. You say that like it's a bad thing!