Words of Comfort & Words We'd Like to Forget
As the day dawns on this fourth year after losing our infant son Joshua, I was reminded of what it says in the Bible in John 16:33, where it says something that always brings me GREAT comfort. But as I finished the passage I realized that it also says something that I would also like to forget about if I could. But you can't have one without the other it would seem.
It says, “…these things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”
Jesus says in Him we will find and have peace (that's good news that I have personally experienced!) But He also spoke with absolute certainty – in this world, you WILL have tribulation. Without even speculating on how God might use tribulation in my life - it’s just that simple. And I find that I often forget that I live in a fallen world. Frankly, it’s a wonder things don’t go more wrongly than they already do!
So the bottom line is that sooner or later, we all have to face a whirlwind. If we think otherwise, we only deceive ourselves and set ourselves up for a deep faith challenging shock when it finally does come. As human beings, we instinctively shy away from distress, pain and discomfort. And it's no mystery why we generally avoid thinking about such things – they are bummers! But I guess that is a big mistake.
Paul tells us to “work out our salvation w/ fear and trembling” in Philippians 2:12. And while I don't think we are intended to live life like some "Nervous Nellie," paranoid and trembling at every shadow, I DO think that part of this "working out our salvation" is being aware of ALL that it will mean to live a life of Faith – which according to His own words, WILL include suffering & trials.
It’s certainly something my family has learned an awful lot about in the last four or five years. And like everyone else, we were surprised when the maelstrom struck us from out of nowhere – just when we thought we were finally escaping a time of scorching trials (I had left a job in another state and moved my family to CA only to find I couldn't easily find work or a place to live - it's a long story and it was a necessary move we had to make. After over a year of looking for work, it looked like I had finally found something promising when Joshua got sick one day...). And yet, while we may have been surprised, I wouldn’t say we were entirely unprepared. AND IT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE! It is during times of trials that our beliefs are truly put to the test. C.S. Lewis says it well in his little book A Grief Observed,
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to SAY you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?… Only a REAL risk tests the reality of a belief.”
Because we have Jesus’ warning – it WILL come – it’s just a question of enduring it with as much faith and strength of character God can rally in us. And that will only happen when our eyes are open and our minds and hearts are prepared for anything in this life – not just peace and blessing. Because when the floods hit – you don’t have much time to think – you need to already know how to swim – or in my case, at least how to dog paddle! How do I do that? By making sure my spiritual root system is deep – that my fellowship w/ God is alive and sustaining. Because when the storm strikes – it is too late to sink deeper roots – you are caught unawares with what you have.
I never truly knew my how my roots would hold until they were shaken harshly. Four yrs ago today, we lost our 8 mo. old son Joshua. He got sick on Friday and by early Sat. morn. He was gone. I won’t lie to you – that maelstrom tore off the bark and cracked many a limb in my soul. I almost curled up in the scorching sun and bowed to the ground under the fiercest winds I ever imagined. But to my surprise my faith and trust in God stood fast because of the strength of the relationship with Christ in the years that preceeded the maelstrom. There was nothing new I could have learned in the first days that followed the flood – my mind and heart were closed down w/ grief. But when the waters rise and you stumble about in shock and your heart goes numb – it is an amazing thing to see God pick you up and carry you along. In those times, only the love & presence of God brings any lasting comfort.
May you never know such a time of howling grief and numbing loss. And yet, since we all must go through something like it at least once in this life at some point, may the Grace and Peace of God strengthen and sustain you as it did me and my family. You CAN trust in Him and He WILL carry you if you let Him.
It says, “…these things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”
Jesus says in Him we will find and have peace (that's good news that I have personally experienced!) But He also spoke with absolute certainty – in this world, you WILL have tribulation. Without even speculating on how God might use tribulation in my life - it’s just that simple. And I find that I often forget that I live in a fallen world. Frankly, it’s a wonder things don’t go more wrongly than they already do!
So the bottom line is that sooner or later, we all have to face a whirlwind. If we think otherwise, we only deceive ourselves and set ourselves up for a deep faith challenging shock when it finally does come. As human beings, we instinctively shy away from distress, pain and discomfort. And it's no mystery why we generally avoid thinking about such things – they are bummers! But I guess that is a big mistake.
Paul tells us to “work out our salvation w/ fear and trembling” in Philippians 2:12. And while I don't think we are intended to live life like some "Nervous Nellie," paranoid and trembling at every shadow, I DO think that part of this "working out our salvation" is being aware of ALL that it will mean to live a life of Faith – which according to His own words, WILL include suffering & trials.
It’s certainly something my family has learned an awful lot about in the last four or five years. And like everyone else, we were surprised when the maelstrom struck us from out of nowhere – just when we thought we were finally escaping a time of scorching trials (I had left a job in another state and moved my family to CA only to find I couldn't easily find work or a place to live - it's a long story and it was a necessary move we had to make. After over a year of looking for work, it looked like I had finally found something promising when Joshua got sick one day...). And yet, while we may have been surprised, I wouldn’t say we were entirely unprepared. AND IT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE! It is during times of trials that our beliefs are truly put to the test. C.S. Lewis says it well in his little book A Grief Observed,
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to SAY you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?… Only a REAL risk tests the reality of a belief.”
Because we have Jesus’ warning – it WILL come – it’s just a question of enduring it with as much faith and strength of character God can rally in us. And that will only happen when our eyes are open and our minds and hearts are prepared for anything in this life – not just peace and blessing. Because when the floods hit – you don’t have much time to think – you need to already know how to swim – or in my case, at least how to dog paddle! How do I do that? By making sure my spiritual root system is deep – that my fellowship w/ God is alive and sustaining. Because when the storm strikes – it is too late to sink deeper roots – you are caught unawares with what you have.
I never truly knew my how my roots would hold until they were shaken harshly. Four yrs ago today, we lost our 8 mo. old son Joshua. He got sick on Friday and by early Sat. morn. He was gone. I won’t lie to you – that maelstrom tore off the bark and cracked many a limb in my soul. I almost curled up in the scorching sun and bowed to the ground under the fiercest winds I ever imagined. But to my surprise my faith and trust in God stood fast because of the strength of the relationship with Christ in the years that preceeded the maelstrom. There was nothing new I could have learned in the first days that followed the flood – my mind and heart were closed down w/ grief. But when the waters rise and you stumble about in shock and your heart goes numb – it is an amazing thing to see God pick you up and carry you along. In those times, only the love & presence of God brings any lasting comfort.
May you never know such a time of howling grief and numbing loss. And yet, since we all must go through something like it at least once in this life at some point, may the Grace and Peace of God strengthen and sustain you as it did me and my family. You CAN trust in Him and He WILL carry you if you let Him.
posted by Eric | 10:46 AM
2 Comments:
I've been thinking how appropriate the weather is today. Rain and snow. It was a beautiful sunny day 4 years ago and nothing felt beautiful and sunny. Today is appropriate for me - I look at it as God's gift to allow the time to just hug a pillow on the couch and match the rain with tears. My grief is not even a smidgen of what you and Amy feel. Thank you for the first hand expierence of watching you both rely on God! You are both exceptional! I love you!!!
I've heard you express some of these things in different ways - but today it was very powerful!
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