He's My Son

Friday will be the 5th anniversary of Joshua's death. I came across this song in my archives. I was given the solo tape to this song earlier in the year he was born. Who knew how applicable it would be a few months later. I can still hear some of these words in my head if I close my eyes and allow myself to drift back ...

He's My Son
(by Mark Schultz)
I'm down on my knees again tonight,
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right.
See, there is this boy that needs Your help;
I've done all I can do myself.
His mother is tired; I'm sure You can understand.
Each night as he sleeps, she goes in to hold his hand.
And she tries, not to cry, as the tears, fill her eyes.

Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him? Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me, let me take his place somehow.
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son.

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep;
I dream of the boy he'd like to be.
I try to be strong and see him through,
But God, who needs right now is You.
Let him grow old, live life without this fear.
What would I be, living without him here?
He's so tired, and he's scared; let him know, that You're there.

Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him? Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me, let me take his place somehow.
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son.

Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him? Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me, let me take his place somehow.
See, he's not just anyone...
Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him, He's my son.
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And the strangest thing is that these same words could also have been sung many times by my parents when I was a sickly child. I can remember as I struggled through long asthma attacks, feeling like I was suffocating and going to die. It is such a horrible sensation and it is hard not to panic, which only makes it much worse. My parents reassured me and calmed me and truly saved my life in doing so. But how they must have howled these words in their souls as they held on to me and fought with me to draw each breath. And He heard their prayers and did not leave me.