Someone said, "Parenting is not for wimps." Well, what they should have said was, "Parenting is for those masochists who wish to daily live out the truth that No Good Deed Goes Unpunished." Now let us examine this sentence. It says "Parenting is for those masochists..." Masochists are those who enjoy pain. In fact, they seem to enjoy pain in such a perverse, unnatural manner that they actually seek it out, even pay for others to inflict pain upon them. Most normal people do not like pain and seek to avoid it at all costs. Parents, apparently, must like pain. This is deduced from the reality that most parenting tasks are wracked with pain, suffering and angst.
There is the joy of changing diapers and repairing and repainting anything the toddler gets his or her hands on - which is everything that isn't in a Swiss bank safety deposit bank.
Then there's trying to teach your child how to obey. It is here that children show that they are truly from another dimension as even 18 years apparently isn't long enough to learn this lesson. There are, of course, always exceptions - well behaved children that are paraded around by their smug parents. While they walk around in a guilt and frustration induced fog, parents never realize that such children are a rare oddity - actually adults suffering from some rare genetic disorder - they only LOOK like children.
Then there's the thankless job of potty training. OK, we won't go further into this since it involves lots of potty talk. But it is only slightly less suffering than the constant diaper changing.
Then your child reaches school age. Finally, you get 6 hours a day away from them. BUT you have to pay for it with evenings full of screaming, tears and angst over homework. After a few years you are SO weary and frustrated that you might actually be tempted to let the little trout sink all on his own. But then when the dweeb flunks out his teachers will blame you and you will pile yet more guilty pains upon your weary soul.
And as the student gets older - it only gets worse and the consequences of their failure grows exponentially. Are we having fun yet? Only if you think all the snotty attitude and disrespect is enjoyable.
All of these parenting tasks suck bilge water big time. No one would willingly go through it more than once. And yet, many parents have more than one child. Hence the charge of "masochism."
Let us examine the final part of the phrase, "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished." This ironic witticism reflects the unfortunate reality that your children will rarely show any appreciation unless the following phrases express gratitude: "I hate you...you are ruining my life...you just don't understand me...that is SO unfair....I hate my family...why are you ruining my life?"
Instead, they will find ways to make you miserable even after giving them a nice Christmas or going to Disneyland (again) because that's where the kids want to do. With all the sacrificing parents do you would think the universe would pamper them or give them a break. But in fact, parent's cars, homes and other worldly goods are destroyed at an alarming rate - causing yet more anxiety and suffering for the parent.
Add to that all the so called experts who constantly seek to humiliate and tell us how it ought to be done. And the authorities who threaten to lock us up just when we finally find some way of reaching our half-brained offspring. Wow! It's the greatest job you will ever love to hate.
Who needs enemies when you have kids!
